The Final Frontier 9/Final Frontier 9 (Disk 2 of 3).adf/LCARS/TextFile/STAG/For_Love_Of_Julia_2.pp/For_Love_Of_Julia_2

Text File | 1995-11-09 | 35KB | 936 lines

TF01
3,For Love Of Julia - Pt 2
4,by Sylvia Billings

The next two days passed  quickly  and  soon  he was settled into the
apartment.  Cathy had  been  surprised  when  he  told  her about the
arrangements he had made, and also pleased.

Once Cathy was on leave they spent  all their time together.  The two
weeks passed all to quickly and soon  it  was time for them to report
to Headquarters.  Both were excited,  not  only about the prospect of
seeing each other more, but also their new assignments.

The first surprise Kirk  received  when  he  was  aboard was that the
ship's surgeon would be leaving shortly  after Captain Pike, and that
his replacement would  be  Doctor  Leonard  McCoy.   Kirk immediately
recognised the name, he  had  been  teaching  at  the Academy shortly
before Kirk graduated.

The second was meeting the  Enterprise's  Science Officer.  As he had
told Admiral Wrenbury, he had met very  few Vulcans.  He knew them to
be a race of people dedicated  to  logic, but he hadn't been prepared
for their severe facial  expression.   This  one, Spock, acknowledged
the introduction and that was all.   There  was  no show of warmth or
the friendliness of the other officers he had been introduced to.

The first few days on board were  spent  getting used to the ship and
where everything was.  He hadn't  realised  just how large a Starship
really was until now.  To his  credit,  he  only got lost once during
this time.

The first two missions were fairly  routine and he quickly learnt his
job as First Officer, although  he  still  puzzled over the fact that
Spock had been passed over when  they  needed  a new Captain.  It was
obvious, even to him only recently come aboard, that Spock would make
an excellent Captain.  Still decisions  like  these were best left to
the experts and they must have their reasons.

The only thing which marred these missions  was the fact that both he
and Cathy were having to  share  cabins with other crewmembers, which
made meeting each other  difficult,  except  for  the very public rec
rooms.  They coped, knowing that Kirk  would soon be Captain and have
his own cabin, which would be much more private.

During his preliminary  period  as  First  Officer  he  found himself
working closely with Mr. Spock, and although they said little to each
other, Spock only speaking when  actually  spoken  to, Kirk felt that
they were gradually  beginning  to  have  a  mutual  respect for each
other.

To begin with this  rather  surprised  him,  because  as  he had told
Admiral Wrenbury, he had expected Mr.  Spock  to be invaluable to him
when he was Captain, he  hadn't  really  considered his own reactions
and feelings towards the Vulcan being anything other than - polite.

Now the time was rapidly approaching  when  Captain Pike was to leave
the ship, and Kirk was to assume  Command.  He was honest enough with
himself to be - apprehensive.  He knew that no matter how much advice
he took, or  how  close  he  came  to  the  other  officers under his
command, any final decisions to be  made  would be his and his alone,
whether they be right or wrong.  Command of a Starship he decided was
one of the loneliest  places  in  the  galaxy,  but  one he would not
change for any other.

The actual handing over of Command  was  a simple matter, both he and
Captain Pike beamed down to  Headquarters,  and  a few hours later he
was beamed back on board as Captain of the Enterprise.

One thing which had both surprised and pleased him was that before he
left the Enterprise, Captain  Pike  received  a small Vulcan artifact
from Mr. Spock.  It was  nothing  elaborate,  but showed Kirk another
side of Spock's character he hadn't thought existed.

                                 ***

Now he stood alone in the  cabin  -  his cabin.  He looked around, it
looked very bare, still he  reasoned  he  would  soon have it looking
more... lived in.  At that moment his door buzzer sounded, he turned,
"Come in," he called.  Standing  in  the  open doorway was Cathy.  He
held out his hand to her, "Not only, come in, come here."

She walked slowly towards him, her  hands  behind her back.  When she
was within arms reach she brought  forward  a bottle of his favourite
Brandy.  "To celebrate," was all she said.

He took the bottle from her, putting it onto his desk, then swept her
into his arms in a  long  tender  embrace.   At last he released her,
"Although I  love  your  gift,  I  can  think  of  otherways  we  can
celebrate."

"I know, Jim, but I have to be back on duty in half an hour, and good
things should never be rushed.  Maybe later, when we are off duty, we
can celebrate... properly."

He smiled at her,  "Then  let's  drink  to  that."   He picked up the
bottle, opened it and getting two glasses he poured them both some of
the golden liquid.

They raised their glasses and as they touched, Cathy said, "Tonight,"
and drank some of the Brandy.   Kirk  did  the same, then moving to a
chair sat down and indicated  the  seat  near  to him.  Instead Cathy
moved and sat on the floor, resting  her head on his knees.  They sat
there in companionable silence  until  their  drinks were gone.  Then
she rose and moved towards  the  door.   He  followed her, and as she
made to leave, whispered in  her  ear,  "Tonight,"  then with a quick
kiss she was gone.

During the next few months, this  became  the pattern of their lives.
Every possible chance  they  had  they  were  together.   Senior crew
members soon knew of their attachment  to  each other, and so long as
this didn't interfere with the safety  and  running of the ship, said
nothing.

Kirk at first found it difficult  to adjust to the new responsibility
of complete command, but found  -  to  his  surprise - that Spock was
more than willing to offer  help  and  assistance whenever asked.  To
begin with Kirk had hesitated to ask  for his advice, feeling it made
him look too vulnerable and possibly  not really ready to be Captain.
Then had come the day a major decision had to be made and which could
cost lives.

He paced his cabin, 'What should  he  do?'  At that moment the buzzer
on his cabin door sounded.   "Come  in,"  he called, expecting Cathy,
and was surprised  when  he  saw  his  First  Officer standing there.
"Yes, Mr. Spock?"

For a moment the Vulcan stood there, then said quietly, "Captain... I
do not wish to  intrude...  but  I  have  a  suggestion regarding Mr.
Mitchell."

Kirk wanted to leap at the  chance  to discuss this matter, after all
the Vulcan had made the first move, but he said, "Sit down Mr. Spock,
let's hear what you have to say."

It was some twenty minutes later that they left the cabin.  Kirk knew
Spock was correct, it was the only  logical answer, but still he felt
uneasy, afterall he and Gary  had  been  friends  for so long, and to
just maroon him down there...

                                 ***

Sometime later he lay in his cabin,  thinking over the last few days.
He knew Spock had been right, but it still hurt to know he had killed
his friend, even though it had been  to  save himself.  He got up and
moved towards the door, as he opened  it to leave, he bumped into his
First Officer, about to activate  the  buzzer.  "Spock!  Did you want
me?"

"Yes, Captain."

Kirk waited for him  to  continue,  when  he  did  it wasn't what the
Captain had expected.  "Sir, do you play chess?"

"Chess?"

"Yes, Sir."

"Well... yes, but why do you ask?"

"It occurs to me that maybe  you  need... a diversion... something to
take your mind off the recent events.  I thought you may wish to join
me in a game of chess... if you would rather not I.."

Kirk quickly interrupted, "Thank you Mr.  Spock, I'll be delighted to
accept."  As they left the cabin  and  made  their way towards one of
the rec rooms, Kirk continued,  "You  must have other chess partners,
won't they mind my stepping in?"

"No, Captain."  At Kirk's surprised  look, Spock elaborated, "My only
partner is the computer... and that I programmed myself."

Kirk smiled, "I see...  you  need  a  more stimulating challenger.  I
hope I can fit the bill."

This game was to be the first of  many over the coming months, and it
was through these that  both  men  got  to  know  and appreciate each
others value.  Not only  as  chess  opponents, but fellow officers...
and friends.

Spock had always been reserved  with  the  crew  and had never really
felt at ease with them or the  previous  Captain, but now he began to
feel less alone  and  more  accepted,  not  only  by  the Captain but
everyone aboard.

                                 ***

The weeks went by  and  eventually  Doctor  Piper retired from active
service in Starfleet, and Doctor McCoy took up his appointment aboard
the Enterprise.

When Doctor McCoy beamed aboard he  was  pleased  to see at least two
faces he knew, the Captain and also the Chief Engineer.

Once the formalities were over the  new  Doctor went with the Captain
and First Officer  to  the  Captain's  cabin  for  a  quiet  drink of
welcome.

"You've come a long way, Captain, since we last met."

"Yes, I guess I have, Doctor,"  replied  Kirk.  "What do you think of
the ship, and especially sickbay?"

"Haven't seen much of either, but they sure seem okay."

"Most up-to-date Sickbay  in  the  Fleet,  Doctor,"  said Kirk, "Your
staff is also most efficient."

"I'm sure they are, but  when  I've  seen  them  in action, I'll know
more."

Kirk smiled, then looked  at  Spock.   "Mr.  Spock,  you haven't said
much."

"What do you wish me to say, Sir?  I have welcomed the Doctor aboard,
was there something I forgot?"

"No, no, you did everything quite  correct,  but..." he let his words
trail off.

The Vulcan looked from one man  to  the  other with a puzzled look on
his face.  "If you will excuse me,  Captain, Doctor, I have some work
which needs my attention."

"Of course, Mr. Spock.  I'll be along shortly."

After he left, McCoy looked at Kirk.  "Not exactly brimming over with
words of welcome, is he?"

"Believe me it isn't you personally,  he  is like that with everyone,
until he really gets to know them better."

"Hmmmmm, we'll see."

Kirk looked at the older man, "Doctor, I think I should tell you this
ship runs very efficiently, and a good deal of this efficiency is due
to Mr. Spock.  I do not want  -  or  expect - this to change.  Do you
understand?"

"Yes, Sir, I understand... but...  your  First Officer will sure take
some getting used to."

"You're right, Doctor, he sure  does,  but  believe  me the effort is
well worth it."

"I believe you, Captain," the  blue  eyes  twinkled as he added, "How
long did it take you... to get him on your side?"

Kirk laughed, "Too long, Doctor."

The two men left  the  cabin,  still  laughing  and talking.  As they
entered the turbo-lift McCoy asked, "Captain, I hate to ask this, but
what is the Head Nurse called?  I  know she was introduced, but names
never were my strong point."

"Your head nurse is Christine  Chapel,  and  the new female Doctor is
Cathy Lennox."  He paused, not  really  knowing whether to inform the
new Doctor of his  relationship  with  Cathy  or  not.  He decided he
would, before someone else  gave  him  the  details.  "Doctor... I...
feel I should tell  you  something,  but  I'm  not  quite sure how to
begin."  McCoy stood silently waiting  for  him to continue.  Finally
he said, "It's  about  Cathy...  Doctor  Lennox."   Still  McCoy said
nothing.  "We have... we...  we're  in  love  and  spend as much time
together as we can."

McCoy now spoke, "You didn't have to  tell  me, but I'm glad you felt
you could."

The lift stopped at the  bridge,  Kirk  smiled  at McCoy, "Care for a
quick inspection tour?"

"Why not, gotta get to know who'll be driving this ship."

McCoy became a familiar sight on  the  ship  and his sharp tongue and
whiplash retorts were soon felt by everyone, from the Captain down to
the youngest Yeoman, although there was  never any intended malice in
anything he said he had been in trouble on more than one occasion.

It didn't take him long to  realise  he could bait the First Officer,
or for that matter for the  First Officer to retaliate.  Their verbal
sparring matches were soon part of  the everyday running of the ship,
and enjoyed by both.

The following months passed quickly,  several missions were completed
successfully and everything just seemed  to  fall into place, and run
with smooth efficiency.

                                 ***

About eight months after he  had  joined  the  ship McCoy walked into
Sickbay one morning to  find  Cathy  waiting  for him.  "You're early
today, Cathy.  Couldn't you sleep?"

"Actually, no, I couldn't, Doctor."

"Why, something  the  matter?"   When  she  didn't  reply,  he asked,
"Cathy, is it Jim... Captain Kirk?"

She looked up at him, "Yes... in a way."

"Can you tell me about it?"

"I have to tell someone, and you're the closest person to me aboard -
next to Jim."  She stopped,  and  he  waited  for her to continue, at
last she said, "I want to leave the ship, at the next Starbase."

This certainly wasn't what McCoy had  been  expecting her to say, and
the surprise showed on his face.  "Why, Cathy... why?"

"Can't you guess?  I'm having his baby."

"Cathy, I won't lecture you, but how  could you have been so silly as
to let it happen?"

"I don't know, Doctor, I really don't.  I guess I must have forgotten
an injection somewhere."

A sudden thought crossed McCoy's mind, "Does Jim know?"

"No, and he mustn't."

"WHAT??"

"Don't shout at me, Doctor McCoy.  I said Jim must never know."

"Why, for gods sake?  He is the child's father."

"Don't you think I know  that  and  that's  why  he must never know."
McCoy still looked puzzled.  "Doctor,  you  know  him well, almost as
well as I do.  If I  told  him  his first reaction would be marriage,
then he would give up the Space  Service  to settle down on some base
or other, so we could all be together, and it wouldn't be long before
he'd become restless for active duty  and that would be the beginning
of the end.  When the baby  arrived  that  would probably be a slight
respite, but it wouldn't last.   No,  Doctor,  not telling him is the
only way, and before  you  ask,  I  won't  have this baby terminated.
Believe it or not I find I really want this child."

"How will you manage?  When the child comes I mean."

"I'm not without means, Doctor,  and  after  a  little while I'll get
someone to help with the baby  and  then  I'll  be  able to set up in
practice on my own.  That won't  be  the  hard part.  Telling Jim I'm
leaving and not telling him why... that'll be the hardest."

"Yes, I can see that.  He'll be hurt you know... deeply hurt."

"Yes, I know, and thanks."

"For what?"

"Not offering to tell him.   I'd  have  had  to  turn you down if you
had."

"Cathy, you are the one  to  tell  him,  no  one  else.  I'll just be
around to pick up the pieces and try and put them together again."

She gave him a brief  smile,  then  said  quietly, "I don't envy you,
Doctor, I truly don't."  Getting up she made to leave.

"Cathy?"

"Yes, Doctor."

"When will you tell him?"

"Later, when we're off duty.   There's  no  sense  in delaying it, is
there?"

"No, Cathy, none at all, and good luck."

                                 ***

Later that day, Cathy sat in  Kirk's  cabin,  waiting for him to come
off duty.  She had been planning  all  day  what she intended to say,
but now as the time drew closer for him to arrive her nerves began to
grow more and more on edge.

The cabin door opened and Kirk entered.  He saw her at once and moved
across the cabin and swept her into  his arms.  She didn't resist his
kiss, but neither did she respond.  Letting  her go he looked at her,
"What's wrong, Cathy?"

She did not reply, all her carefully planned speech now seemed wrong.
Standing there looking at him, she  wondered  if she could go through
with it, but deep inside her  she  knew  she would... she had to, for
all their sakes.

Taking her hand he led her  back  to  her chair.  Gently he said, "It
can't be so bad, Cathy, please tell me what's wrong."

She knew it was now or never, so  taking a deep breath she said, "I'm
leaving, Jim."

"Leaving?"

"Yes.  The ship, Starfleet, everything."

For a moment he was too  stunned  to  reply.  At last he asked, "Why,
Cathy?"

Now she had started to tell him, the words just seemed to tumble out.
"I've found this life isn't for me.  I want a steady regular job with
people who have normal illnesses and injuries..."

"But you knew what it  would  be  like,  you'd been aboard a Starship
before."

"I know, but we all change, and now I want other things."

"And what about me?  What about what I want?"

"You'll survive, Jim.  This is where you belong... I don't."

"I thought you loved me, Cathy."

"I do Jim, but not  enough  to  give  up  what  I  want from life.  I
thought I did, but I don't.  Call me selfish if you like, but I can't
give up what I  feel  is  right  for  me...  not  even for you."  The
intense hurt in his eyes cut through her like a knife, and she almost
weakened, but knew she must finish.  "I've already told Doctor McCoy,
and he says I can leave at the next Starbase."

"I see!  All cut and  dried  before  you  even  see me.  Didn't Bones
object?"

"Yes, but when he saw my mind  was  made  up he agreed it was for the
best."

Suddenly  Kirk  was  the  efficient   Captain,  no  longer  the  hurt
bewildered man of moments ago.   "Very  well,  as you've made up your
mind, there is very little  more  I  can  add.   If you will put your
request in writing, I will see  it  goes through the proper channels,
so you will be free to leave at the next Starbase we call at."

Getting up she crossed to the  door,  as  she  was about to leave she
turned, "Very well... Captain.  And thank you - for not making things
difficult for me."

He simply inclined his head, not daring  to let himself reply, as the
door closed behind her, he slumped into the chair she had so recently
vacated.  Now she had left he let himself really take in all that had
happened during the past few minutes.   He  felt his world had fallen
apart around him, and silently the tears filled his eyes.

                                 ***

No one saw the Captain until the following day, when he came on duty.
When he did it was obvious to  them  all  it was not the same man who
had left  the  bridge  the  previous  day.   Outwardly  he  looked no
different, but somehow the laughter had gone from his eyes.

It wasn't long before McCoy came  onto  the  bridge, he moved over to
the Captain's chair.  "You okay, Jim?"  He asked in a quiet voice.

"Perfectly, why shouldn't I be?"

"Jim, I do know about Cathy, remember.  If  I can help in any way I'm
always there."

"If you know, why  don't  you  just  leave  me  alone  and go back to
sickbay?"

Turning on his heel, McCoy left without another word.

As the doors of the lift closed  behind McCoy, Kirk swung the command
chair around, anguish in his  eyes.   'Damn!'  He thought, 'Bones was
only trying to help.  It isn't  his  fault,  so why did I blame him?'
He sat there a few moments more, then getting up crossed to his First
Officer, "Spock, if I'm  needed,  I'll  be  in  sickbay, you have the
con."

"Yes, Sir," replied the Vulcan.

He made his way towards sickbay, only to realise as he entered, Cathy
should be there.  As he walked in,  McCoy  looked up from his work at
the other side of the room, then studiously returned his attention to
what he was doing.  Kirk walked  towards  him, noticing as he did so,
Cathy wasn't there.  He stopped at the  side of the Doctor, who still
continued to work.  "Doctor... I.."

McCoy looked up, "Come  into  my  office,  Captain."  Kirk smiled his
thanks.

Once inside the office McCoy  sat  behind  his desk, watching as Kirk
began to pace backwards and forwards.   Finally he stopped and looked
at the Doctor.

"Bones, I'm sorry... for the way I spoke to you on the bridge."

"I understand, Jim."

Kirk thought for a moment  before  replying.   "Yes,  I guess you do.
But why Bones, what happened to change her?  I thought she was happy,
so what went wrong?"

"Jim I can't give you the  answers  you  want.  Who knows how a woman
thinks?"

"Did she tell you why  she  wants  to  leave?   She just said she now
feels this isn't what she wants."  McCoy just nodded, which Kirk took
to be  him  agreeing  with  what  he'd  just  said.   "I  just  don't
understand.  I tried all night to think what had made her change, but
I still don't know."

"Jim, I know right now it hurts,  but  please try not to dwell on the
rights and wrongs of it.  It'll be hard, but time is a great healer."

"I know  you  mean  well,  but  right  now  I  feel...  dead inside."
Abruptly he asked, "Where is Cathy?"

"I changed her shifts,  you  won't  be  seeing  much  of her now... I
thought this would be best.  If I was wrong..."

"No, Bones, you weren't... thanks."

McCoy got up from his chair,  moved  over to the cupboard and removed
two glasses and some Brandy.  Pouring  some into each glass he handed
Kirk one with a, "Here, drink this."

"Bones, I'm still on duty."

"Doctor's orders... medicinal purposes."

Kirk smiled, "For you too, Doctor?"

"Yes, for me too," replied McCoy.

                                 ***

During the next two  and  a  half  weeks  that  it  took to reach the
Starbase things ran smoother than anyone  had expected, once news had
leaked that Cathy Lennox was leaving,  this was mainly due to McCoy's
changing of her duty periods,  thereby  ensuring  she and the Captain
hardly met.

At first Kirk was quiet and withdrawn, but gradually after a few days
seemed to brighten  and  even  make  subtle  suggestions  to the more
senior members of his female  crew.   For  his  part  it was a way to
boost his pride, although  with  one  exception  all suggestions were
politely but firmly turned  down,  which  didn't unduly surprise him.
Uhura was the only  one  who  did  actually  accept his invitation to
dinner in his cabin, knowing  how  much  he  had been hurt by Cathy's
decision to leave, and also because  in  her  own way she was fond of
the Captain.

Finally the Starbase was within scanner range, and Kirk was surprised
when Doctor McCoy informed him he was required in Sickbay.

When he arrived he found Cathy  waiting  for  him.  He felt his heart
pound in his chest, 'Maybe  she  had  changed her mind.'  He realised
she was speaking to him.

"Jim, I felt I wanted to say  a  private goodbye to you.  I promise I
won't make it difficult."

"I hoped when I saw you, you'd changed your mind."

"No, Jim, I'm sorry I've caused  so  much  hurt, but it really is for
the best."

"I just don't understand... what went wrong.  I don't think I'll ever
understand."

"Believe me, Jim, one day you  will."   She reached up and kissed him
lightly on the cheek, "Goodbye  Jim,  don't  think  too badly of me."
Before he could do or say anymore, she was gone from Sickbay.

He did not see her again before she left the ship.

                                 ***

Gradually as the months passed he  became  more immersed in his work,
and as McCoy had  predicted  the  hurt  grew  less.  During this time
Uhura was a great help, and  she  and  the  Captain spent a number of
pleasant evenings together, although each was  wise enough not to let
this situation develop into anything serious.

                                 ***

It had been almost four years since Cathy had left the ship when they
went into orbit around Minerva, a planet  in one of the more peaceful
sections of the galaxy.  They were here for  a few days R & R, and to
pick up new crewmembers.

Unbeknown to Kirk, Doctor McCoy  had  kept  in  touch with Cathy, and
knew that she now had a young  daughter,  and also that she lived and
worked on  Minerva.   The  Doctor  now  called  the  Captain  to  his
quarters.  When he arrived McCoy came straight to the point.

"Jim, I've something to tell you."

"That sounds serious."

"I guess in a way it is."

"Okay... I'm listening."

"You remember Cathy Lennox?"

Kirk's face was suddenly serious, "Yes, Bones.  Why?"

"I know it's none of my business really but, do you still... feel the
way you did about her?"

Kirk paused before answering, then  said,  "I  guess I still think of
her with... affection, but...  no,  I'm  not  still so desperately in
love with her.  What's all this leading up to?"

"She lives and works on Minerva!"

"How do you know?"

"I've kept in touch from time  to  time.   I  guess I felt a fatherly
affection towards her."

"What made you decide to tell me?"

"I thought you'd like to know... even stop by and say 'Hello' maybe."

"No, I don't think so, Bones, but thanks for telling me."

"Why not, Jim.  You've  just  said  you  don't  love  her anymore, so
what're you afraid of?"

"I'm not afraid of anything, besides, what makes you think she'd want
to see me?"

"Because I've already asked."

"And does she?"

"Yes, Jim, she does."

"Then I guess  I'll  meet  her."   He  got  up  to  leave, "Was there
anything else, Bones?"

McCoy desperately wanted to  tell  him  about  the  child, but simply
said, "No, that's all, Jim."

                                 ***

A few hours later  found  Kirk  and  McCoy  standing outside a medium
sized house at the edge of the business area of the capital city.  On
the front lawn they saw several toys and play things.

"Are you sure this is the place?"  Kirk asked, eyeing the toys.

"Yes, I'm sure."

At that moment the door opened  and  Cathy came down the path towards
them, followed by a young child.

"Doctor McCoy... Jim, it's good to  see  you  both.  Come on in.  Oh,
this is Julia," she added, as she bent down to pick up the child.

They were soon sitting in a comfortably furnished room, and the child
was  happily  playing  on  the   floor   near  them.   At  first  the
conversation was a little  strained  but  gradually things eased, and
they were talking quite naturally.  Finally Kirk asked the inevitable
question.  "Whose little girl is Julia?"

Silence descended, then Cathy said, "She's my daughter, Jim."

"Oh!  I didn't realise... that you were married, I mean."

"Why should you, it has been some time since we last met."

"Where's your husband... will we get to meet him?"

"No, he's away... in the Space Service."

"Starfleet?"

"No... not Starfleet."

McCoy interrupted, "Cathy, I hate to ask,  but could I have some more
coffee, d'you think?"

Smiling gratefully at him, she  said,  "Of  course, Doctor.  More for
you too Jim?"

"Yes, please."

Once more the conversation turned to  other things, and for one Cathy
was thankful.

They stayed talking about the  old  times  and generally making small
talk for about another  hour,  then  McCoy  suggested  they should be
leaving.

As they were about to  go,  Kirk  suddenly  said, "Cathy, would it be
okay if we kept  in  touch?   If  you'd  rather  we didn't I'll quite
understand."

She paused, then said, "Sure, Jim... whenever you have time."

McCoy smiled at her over  Kirk's  shoulder, a smile she acknowledged,
and one Kirk knew nothing of.

                                 ***

Over the next few years  whenever  they  were  in this section of the
galaxy,  Kirk  and  McCoy  would   visit   Cathy,  and  in  this  way
unknowingly, Kirk saw his daughter growing up.

It had been over ten years  since  he  had first seen Julia that Kirk
suddenly  questioned  McCoy   about   the   girls   father,  and  his
whereabouts, as they had never seen him on any of their visits.

"Jim, it really is none of my  business, but I don't think Cathy sees
him all that often."  At Kirk's  look of concern, McCoy added, "She's
quite happy with the arrangement, don't worry."

"But what about Julia, what  sort  of  life  is  it for her without a
father around?"

"Think Jim, when you've seen her  does  she  look as if she lacks for
anything?"

"Well... no."

"While we're talking about Julia,  there's  something else, she wants
to enter Starfleet Academy in two years, when she is sixteen."

"Do they take girls that young?"

"As a kind of junior  cadet,  they  still  study and do mainly school
work, then graduate to the normal Academy classes at 18."

"You seem to know  a  lot  about  this."   McCoy  now looked a little
sheepish, and Kirk was quick  to  notice.   "Come  on Bones, out with
it."

"Well... like you, I've sort of kept  an eye on them both... and when
Julia said she'd like to join the Academy... I made a few enquiries."

"That's fair enough, but why did you suddenly mention it now?"

"Cathy wants to see you,  before  she  decides  if a Starfleet career
will be good for Julia."

"Why me?  You've made all the  enquiries  for  her, so why me, do you
know?"

"Jim, why don't you ask her yourself?"

"We're not due in that area  for  sometime  yet... I'll put through a
call on subspace..."

"NO!"  McCoy said it much more forcefully than he intended.

Kirk was somewhat taken aback, "Why so vehement, Bones?"

"I just think you should  take  some  leave  and  go and see her... I
can't say more... but believe me it is important."

                                 ***

Kirk now stood at the Space Port, wondering how he had let himself be
persuaded to come to Minerva to  see Cathy.  Wondering even more just
what strings McCoy had pulled  to  get  him  the  leave at such short
notice.

It wasn't  many  minutes  before  he  saw  Cathy  coming  towards him
accompanied by a pretty young girl, who Kirk knew was Julia, although
he had not seen her for  several  years.   As they drew nearer he saw
that while Cathy smiled at him, her daughter did not.

"Hello, Cathy... Julia, it is good to see you both again."

"Hello, Jim.  Been waiting long?"

"No... only a few moments."

So far the girl had not  even  acknowledged his presence, but he said
nothing.

They left the Space Port and  made  their  way to Cathy's air-car for
the short journey to her home.

After they arrived, Kirk had settled in  and a meal had been prepared
and eaten, now he sat on  the  swing-chair looking out over fields at
the rear of the house.  Presently Cathy came to join him.

"Reminds me of a long time  ago,  when  we sat and watched the sunset
once before."

"Some things change, Jim... even sunsets."

"I guess so."  They sat in silence for a few minutes then Kirk asked,
"Why did Bones want me to come here?"

"Didn't you want to visit an old friend?"

"You know I'm always happy to see you,  but there has to be a reason.
He said it was something to do with Julia wanting to join Starfleet."

"That's correct."

"So what's the problem?"

"As her father is still  alive  his  signature  as  well as my own is
required on her  enrolment  application,  as  she  wants  to enter so
young."

"Oh, I see, and you don't know where he is?"

"No, that's not the problem.  I know exactly where he is."

"Then I don't understand."

"I'm not going about this  too  well.   Jim,  will you promise not to
interrupt me, and I'll begin at the beginning?"

"Sounds serious, but yes, you have my word."

She took a deep breath,  "You  know  when  I left the Enterprise, all
those years ago?"  Kirk  nodded,  "Well  the  reasons  I gave weren't
true.  I didn't want to lead  a  life  of  my  own, I loved you and I
wanted to be with you, but I couldn't."

"I still don't..."

"Jim, you promised..."  He lapsed back into silence as she continued.
"You see Jim, I left because  I  was  having  your child.  Had I told
you, you would have wanted marriage and  all that goes with it, and I
knew eventually it would only end in heartbreak... so I left, telling
you what I did."

It took a few moments to realise  what  Cathy had just said, but when
he did finally speak he said, "Then... Julia is... my daughter?"

"Yes, Jim."

"Cathy... I know you feel  you  did  the  right  thing... but I had a
right to know."  A thought occurred to him, "Bones knew, didn't he?"

She nodded her head, "Yes,"  she  whispered.   She  moved her hand to
touch his arm, but he drew away.

"No.  I need time to think... Have you told Julia?"

"Yes, last evening."

He now understood the girl's attitude  at  the Space Port.  "Where is
she now?  I want to talk with her."

"She's in her room... waiting."

He got up without another word, and entered the house, going straight
to the girl's room.  He knocked and waited to be admitted.

What was said in that room Cathy  never knew, but when he returned to
her some two hours later, he was  a  different man to the one who had
left earlier.

"Cathy... I guess I still feel hurt that you didn't tell me.  Bones I
know was bound by his oath as a  Doctor, not to reveal what a patient
tells him.  You know  it  feels...  kinda  strange realising you're a
father with a grown up daughter... a beautiful daughter I might add."

"Jim... can you ever forgive me?"

He now reached over and took her  hand.  "Yes, I forgive you... after
all, with Bones' help I did see her quite often while she was growing
up... so I really  had  the  best  of  both  worlds."  He stopped and
looked directly at Cathy, "What happens now?"...

                                 ***

...He felt someone touch his arm, and was suddenly brought out of his
reverie and back to  the  present.   He  looked  at McCoy and smiled.
"I'm okay, Bones.  I know now what I have to do."

"You've made up your mind... about the promotion, I mean?"

"Yes.  You know my daughter is here... at Headquarters ready to begin
her serious training."

"Yeah, I know."

"I intend to see her... talk over not only her future but my own."

"But why Jim, if you've made up your mind?"

"Because my future is bound up with  hers.  Her mother is married now
and has her own life, and I'm happy for her, but now it is my turn to
look out for our daughter."

McCoy shrugged, "Yes, I  guess  so,  but  I  hope  you  won't be hurt
again."

"That's an odd thing to say.  Why should I be hurt?"

"I don't know, but be careful what you say to her."

Kirk got up, "I'll be careful.  Coming, Bones?"

"Not this time.  I'll see you later."

Kirk smiled again.  "Sure... see  you  later,"  with that he began to
walk back towards the main building.

                                 ***

It wasn't until the next day that the two men met up again.

McCoy was the first to speak.  "How'd it go... with Julia?"

"Fine.  We decided  I  shouldn't  accept  the  promotion,  but stay a
Captain.  As Julia said, this way she at least stands a better chance
of being given assignments  on  her  own  merit  and  not because her
father pulled a few strings."

"Would you have 'pulled strings', Jim?"

"I don't honestly know, maybe, if  the  mission was dangerous I'd try
and be objective, but I guess... yes,  maybe I would've tried to keep
her out of danger."

"Then I think you've made the  wisest decision.  Everyone aboard will
be pleased, I know that... well maybe  not  Sulu quite so much as the
others."

"That's gratifying... to know how  I'd  be  missed."  He stopped then
said, "Why not Sulu?"

"He's making book on who  would  be  the  next  Captain, and it's not
really that gratifying," he paused  at  Kirk's quizzical look, "It is
after all... better the devil you know."

At this Kirk laughed uproariously.

                                 ***